Funny how Sunday alone can produce different topics for us to catch cruise on. To my viewers who are Muslims, I must tender an unreserved apology.🙇🏾‍♂️ I'm not being "RELIGIOUSLISTIC" here if it seems like I'm. (Well, I feel like it wasn't obvious seff until now that I said it. Lol😆) Anyways, I have zero issues with any religion as long as it doesn't endanger humanity. 

Enough of the back and forth. Now to the business of the day. I welcome you again to CRUISETOPIA. I am your Captain on this voyage, Capt. Southpaw👮‍♂️ The only weekend blogger with a TESLA. If you think it's a lie, wahala for you o.

So, it's Sunday! Service is now over. If you went to church like me, welcome back from church. If you didn't, get your greetings from your Patron, Oba Khafre.

But, it is always funny when I discover how quickly we all SWITCH on Sundays. (This includes me) First, in the morning, we are all spiritual. Worship posts upandan, ear and dear. Then, those that will go to church will go and those that wouldn't will use worship songs to disturb all their neighbors. Wahala for who no get speaker o

Then, we all get back from church; what follows? You can also answer that question. Yes, what follows is simple. WE ALL GO BACK TO DEFAULT SETTINGS. The party lovers are getting ready to club all night. In ife, for instance, our Maintenance brothers get their cars set to pick up our Maintenance sisters. Those that love to party, hit the road! All roads lead to New Buka. (Just don't forget to drive safely. Nobody dey follow you drag your MOTO GP)

I know all I say here doesn't change whatever we will still do now that church is over. Because, in church today, some people still dressed for club🤷🏾‍♂️ Yet, I'll say my own.

Moreover, it's a new week guys!!!!!😇 Another week to make impact and catch premium cruise. Yes! Another week of stress truly. But, we can make the most of this week and stay happy as much as we can. 

Also, remember the words of Darmian Marley and always "Give thanks to the source that creates life." Be thankful every single day of this coming week and go into the week with that all important HAPPY and POSITIVE mindset. God dey with us! Wahala for who be atheist o

On this note, I welcome us to a new week! DJ Ice Water play me BLESSED By Darmian Marley and the only one STARBOY!

SEE YOU ALL NEXT WEEKEND. My Tesla is waiting for me😁😁

This week ending today was a VERY SHORT week. As short as it was, the FAYOLENCE the week served us was full and running over.

Welcome back to Cruisetopia. The only weekend blog run by a billionaire🙊🤗

As I mentioned earlier, check it yourself, Monday feels so much like yesterday. How these weeks fly so fast ehn; nobody can knows.

That's why one of Nigeria's few bonafide Grammy Awards winner, Odogwu (Who said Wizkid there?😌🙄🙄) once said: "Time flies like a thief in the night."🤔🙄 Well, whether time flying and thief in the night correlate, nobody except Odogwu can knows. As for me, I will just 🤐

As short as the week was, we had a large share of Gbas Gbos, and plentyyyyyy stress🤕🤧 (Well, that's why I'm here. To at least reduce your stress for the next two days🤗)

First, OAU students, welcome back to our beloved uniSTRESSity🙌🙌🙌. In case you are missing out on the details, it has been two weeks already since resumption.

For most of us, staircase climbing is back, trekking from class to class is back, materials dump has started again, even late classes are back😫😩😰 Omo, another thing and very important one; Major General Sapa is taking over and FYB plans full ground🙁😢 This stress is certainly one thing OAU will always give you. So, if you're an admission seeker planning to come to OAU, all I can say is LOL🙂

In addition, in the political arena, Nigeria is back serving us some hot Gbas Gbos! Fayolence ear and dear. First, it was the arrest of Nnamdi Kanu that was celebrated like some major achievement🤦🏾‍♂️🤷🏾‍♂️ Then, like that wasn't enough, another attempted arrest of Sunday Igboho. However, the attempt went off target👀🤡

Leaving the political scene, if you're following the Euros, I just harmlessly want to remind you that everyone in the supposed GROUP OF DEATH is dead.  And that did not leave some of your 🐐🐐 outs. (Kante for Balon D'or in za mud😸😸🤡)

And for the always flourishing cruise industry of Nigeria, it was not an eventful week really.🙁First, BBN became boring immediately after an adorable snake was discovered on the show thanks to Erica. The remaining episodes just lacked content. It was all " You betrayed our friendship and vibes🤦🏾‍♂️"

But, just last night, I confirmed that Tunde Ednut Instagram page is cursed. You can guess why already. It got suspended again last night😵 Something must be wrong that we do not know of. If you know what's wrong, let's know in the comments section abeg🤔

To now wrap it up, last night, we had a new trend on WhatsApp. You know what I am talking about. Abi ki n ran yin leti ni? (Should I remind you?)

Below are only a few of the "ABI" trend. No lies, last night was funny. Wahala for who no understand Yoruba o🤧😁

In all, na so the week go o! Weekend began last night. How well you enjoy your weekend is in your hands. As for me, it's gon' be non-stop fun from today till Monday! DJ Chicken, play me "Chop Life Crew" by Prettyboy DO and those other Oppressive Yahoo Boys😁😁😁 

Till we meet again tomorrow morning, don't forget to engage me in the comments section. Trust me, I love it when you do😉 

Tip For The Day: DORIME is not a must! That's SAPA's endtime strategy. No go lose guard! 

I guess you're wondering why Sunday should be a time for club. Well, wait till you meet these sets of people. These are the two categories of churchgoers or if you like "Christians", in my side of the world.

The first are the ones that just never go to church.😁 You see these ones, Sunday is either environmental day for them, a day to finish pending works, or a day to "rest". These ones take the Yoruba phrase "Ojo Isinmi" too far. 

If you fall in that first category, you probably have not been in church AT ALL this year. Or, if you have, AT MOST THRICE!😨 Khafre is the Patron of this association

Then, the second category of church goers are the hypemen,🕺the special appearances, and the clubbers!💃👯 For them, it's club time! Sunday is more like a day to showcase that new cloth, that new bag, that new hair, that new pair of shoes or slides, and sometimes, that new ride!

Today, the focus is on those ones that go to church like they are going to club. I know you want to say sheybi it's only to look good. How is that a bad thing? After all, "we all want to worship God ni." (Stop the cap)😂😂

Okay, here is it! I will give you a few good points. Check them out!

First, you will agree with me on this one. There are some churches, you know for sure that if you want to go to these churches, you must dress to kill. If you don't, you will be "killed."🤕

Also, there are some churches where you know you can easily hookup or find your next catch. All you have to do is to "shill". You must not rush home after service. So, if you're still single, STOP RUSHING HOME AFTER SERVICE!🤔

To add to this, in these churches your phone is more important than your Bible! You want to ask why. Check around! Everyone is using their phone during service, including you.😏 And after service, the after party begins. Service is not complete until they have taken at least a couple of pictures for the socials.🤳🤳 That's why at least one member of the clique must have either an iPhone or a Samsung phone. Wahala for us wey dey use Gionee

Now, check it! 

• Where is it that dressing to a particular standard is a criteria to not feel out of place? A CLUB!
• Where is it that you can easily hook up and find your next catch as long as you "shill" and "chilwell"? 👀 A CLUB!
• Where is that place where your phone is a very important instrument if you must have a complete experience? Yes, I know you're saying it in your mind too.  A CLUB!
• Lastly, where MUST you take pictures to show that you were there? Exactly! A CLUB!

Now, judge yourself in your own mind, na church you dey go, or na club you dey go?👀🤡

Please, don't forget to drop your honest answers or views in the comment section.

Till we see again next weekend, I'm your Grammy Award-winning Captain in a ship that is not my own, Capt. Southpaw. (Abeg, nobody mentioned Wizkid's name o)

Abeg, DJ Stupid, play me Oniduro Mi by that Tope Alabi role model while I prepare for club, sorry Church🙈

You wake up every single day. And, discover you're still in Nigeria —or is it UAR? You already know there is enough to worry about🤕

First, is the pain of deciding what to eat everytime. Damn! that thing sucks🤦🏾‍♂️ Then, there is Sapa always ready to take over. Like, bruhhh! Chill na😕 Also, there is the fact that nobody is safe anymore; which is sad😤😞 Finally, there is the ever-stressful life as a student😓 (Well, that's if you're still a Student🤗😌) 

P.S: Non-Academic Student Union (NASU) is still selling Registration Form sha.😎😁

I'm very sure "he" gets his own fair share of all these wahala. Abi, why do you think "he" travels at every opportunity "he" gets?🤔

Don't ask me who this "he" is. Abeg, we all know who that is😕 No other person but, AJALA THE TRAVELER!!

But, one question I still want to ask, is why he always has to wave at us at the airport whenever he travels? 

Bruhhh, nobody cares!🤷🏾‍♂️

Well, that is not entirely the point here. The truth is that, there is always enough to worry about! Actually, problem no dey finish. Every Mallam with his own kettle.

But, how do you think most of us survive through all of these? PREMIUM CRUISE!😋😁

On this note, I welcome you all onboard. This is literally a Boat CRUISE!🚤🛳 I will be your captain through this voyage every weekend. 

According to Cruisophilus (776 BC) "All you need to do is to drop all your wahala before coming on board. And, you will go back smiling."🤗

So, join me every Saturday and Sunday as we sail through the sea of cruise together with a mind free of worries.😁😁 I'm your very INCOMPETENT captain, Capt. Southpaw!🎩👨‍✈️ And, I wish us all, Bon Voyage😊😘

DJ Lagere, play me "Problem No Dey Finish" by Erigga as I prepare for tomorrow blockbuster.

Spoiler Alert: Tables go break tomorrow! 

For now, make the best use of the rainy weather. Go for evangelism cos everybody will be at home rn! Omo, sense no go kee me!

Do not forget to engage me in the comment section🤗🤗